The Problem of Saipan

A long time ago, like in January or December, I applied for a judicial clerkship in Saipan.  Saipan is the largest island in the Northern Mariana Islands - a United States-owned commonwealth just east of the Philippines, north of Australia.  The island is 12 miles long and 6 miles wide.  I applied for this job for two main reasons: (1) I was desperate and frustrated that I couldn't find work in the U.S. and decided, fine, if no one here wants me, I'll just leave; (2) a judicial clerkship is pretty much the best experience a new attorney can have, it almost guarantees any job that is applied for after.

The start date was April.  Since it is now the end-ish of March, and I hadn't heard peep, I assumed I didn't get the job.  Then, today my old man gets a call from the judge while I was at the gym.  But, he didn't realize a judge was calling (he has an accent) so when I got home he told me someone from the census job I applied for called.

I called this person back, thinking I was talking to some census lackey, only to find out I was in the midst of a job interview with a judge!  

He told me I am in his top five, and the start date is still April.  So, if I'm offered this position, I will be leaving the country crazily soon.  For two years.

Of course, I should have nothing to worry about until I find out if I even get this job, but I am having major anxiety over the thought of having to decide to accept the position or not.  I want to throw up.

The good:  I'll get about $52,000/year, including the housing stipend (this may not sound like much for a lawyer, but that is basically the equivalent of a million dollars to me); I  get about 42 paid days off each year so I'll be able to travel to Japan, Bali, Phillipines,  Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, etc. - something I will likely never have another chance to do; I'll get good work experience and by the time I come back to the U.S. there will probably be jobs that want me; I'll be able to afford to live in an actual house with multiple rooms instead of a teensy apartment; I'll still live at the beach; it's a federal government job, so I'd be in with the government which gives the best benefits for future jobs.

The bad:  I will be away from the mainland for two years, which is a crazily long time.  To think I was only in Denver for four months, and I was so so lonely - the thought of two years is too much to bear.  So, the only way I'd do it is if my old man came with me.  The only problem with that is he has a year left of school, so he'd have to put that on hold for two years for my sake.  Thus, I would have to live with the guilt of making him give something up because of me.  And, I either won't get to see my family for two years, or will only get to see them if they come visit me (which I would force them to do).  But, because it is such a small island, it takes 2-3 days to get there depending on the various layovers.  And, I'll have to buy all new stuff because I can't take my stuff with me that far.  And, what will I do with the stuff I have now?  Just get rid of it, or store it?  And, do they have weird deadly tropical diseases there?  And, this decision will have to be made in less than 2 weeks.  Less than 2 weeks to decide the rest of my life!

So, now I don't know what to do and I'm kind of hoping I will find out I didn't get the job just so I don't have to decide.  What should I do?